Wednesday, April 29, 2009
To this he responded: "Why did you say that?"
Me- "I dunno because I do?"
O-"Oh, I was just wondering because you usually only say that when you were mad at me."
Me-(Insert all sorts of guilt laden feelings...I'm sure i say it more frequently than that...Don't I????)
"Well, you know I love you all of the time, right?"
O- "Yeah mom"
Me- "I do love you, have a good night, and turn your light off soon."
Am I seriously this mom who only tells him I love him after I have been mad at him??? I suppose that isn't the worst thing. I mean, at least after I have been angry with him, I tell him that I still love him. That should mean something Right?
Note to self: shower that boy with hugs and kisses until he can't stand it!!!! No more of giving him his first grader space...He MUST know that I have adored him since he was born! He must know how much I love him! Sometimes I love my kids so much it just hurts!!!
I hope that he knows that I adore the way he takes on this world full of curiosity and kindness, with a soft heart and an eager mind. He should know that I miss him when he is at school and I long for the days when we used to go hiking for hours, just him and me.
Is all of that forgotten? Am I becoming too distracted for him to realize just how much I can't imagine this world without him being a part of it????
Well, at least one day when he is grown and he looks back and remembers his childhood, maybe then he will read this and know that yes, I do love him and that the majority of my days are spent trying to create a place of Love, joy and safety for him. without sheltering him too much.
I'm sure this is just the beginning...but he can expect a lot more hugs in the near future!